Day Fifty-Four (Sex-Ed)

Good Evening World!!!

Tonight I read an article on sex starved marriages and saw some interesting points made in this article. One point made was the person with the lower sex drive usually holds the power of sex frequency. This is obviously true because if your mate is not willing to play than your stuck twiddling your thumbs. Another point is this is an unworkable and unfair arrangement ( Hmm well if one is in the mood and the other one is not than someone is getting the short end of the stick.

I read an additional article and it says if you are having sex less than 10 times a year than your marriage is considered sexless. The good news is this is doable if both parties are okay with it, but detrimental to the marriage if one is not. This intimacy builds closeness physically, spiritually, emotionally, and it is pleasurable. The fact is you might want to put out for your spouse, so they feel worth something to you and do not feel like a simple buddy or roommate. (

My thoughts on the whole thing and some may agree or disagree! I think if you are depriving your mate of sex in your marriage you are opening the door for more issues, infidelity, arguments, and divorce or other major problems. This is a serious issue in 1 of 3 marriages according to the statistics. You may want to talk about it and run to a therapist if you cannot resolve this between the two. Apparently those who hold out are not winning the war in these articles I am reading. Do not scold me for this but I cannot blame someone trying to tiptoe out the back door when their mate is holding out. I mean I personally know I did not get married to have a strictly platonic relationship! Why? That would make no sense to me! So Just something to think about as you lay in bed at night 🙂

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18 thoughts on “Day Fifty-Four (Sex-Ed)

  1. 10x/year?!?!?!?!!!!! Yessssss huni, I am with YOU! Can’t NOBODY (I know that’s a double negative, but it’s necessary here) live like that!!! Sooooo much I could say…but people are pretty sensitive about this topic, so I’ll hold my peace. Thanks for opening the door though!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Really, I always figure the lower sex drive person would be in control because it’s most likely a battle to have sex which would be draining. So the higher sex drive person would not go for it as much after many rejections.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think you and I are on the same page here. I have read those same articles. It is pretty tricky to get the research in front of your spouse without seeming like all you want is sex from them. I struggle with that.
    One time, my wife and I went 6 months with no sex and she wondered why I was acting the way I was. I started to act like she wasn’t important. I never did cheat on her, but I so wanted to. It really left a huge hole in me that I am still trying to climb out. Even though the sex has been more frequent, I can’t help but be tempted still.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree it is challenging trying to share the articles with your spouse because they literally think all you are after is sex! It is frustrating trying to express the need for sex in a sexless marriage or just low sex frequency marriage to the person holding out. Speaking from experience the person deprive feels like something is wrong with them, unwanted, not good enough, and all kind of crappy ass feelings about themselves. So of course the thought of cheating pops in our head because the need to feel desired, wanted, and good enough is consuming us. It does make you really pissed off to feel and think the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with is not interested in you. You would think they would easily understand that but they focus on strictly the physical part of sex and think it is no big deal holding out. Unfortunately, underestimating the emotional, spiritual, and passionate connection it creates which deepens and strengthen your bond. Seriously, sexual monogamy in the relationship helps separate them from friends, associates and etc…. Without it, lines get hazy and it makes it hard to stay loyal.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree with you however! There are also hot and cold times as well, with intimacy. There are months where it’s like 50 Shades and other months, it’s maybe a few times overall. It’s up to the person who feels deprived to speak up 😉 And, it’s a proven fact, the more you “do it”, the more you want to “do it” 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True! It just sucks when “voiced concerns” fall on deaf ears. You know it’s like you speak up and speak up until you feel like your constant nagging and nothing comes from it. So you just stop! 😕 But you are absolutely right the more you do it the more you want to do it! 😀 getting them on board is the challenge.


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