Good Morning Friends!!!
Sex is a big struggle when your a parent, especially if your a parent of four and three are ages five and below. So good ol’ Jan 1st 2016 morning my husband woke up at 4am and rolled over to grope me and our 1 year old was between us and my three year old was on my leg and my five year old was wedge into my back. They all decided to sneak into our bed and setup shop at some odd hour who really knows?😢
It was dark and as I felt my husband’s hand slide up my inner thigh I whispered I think we have a full house I feel a kid on my foot and one in my back, not to mention a doll size one between us. He said “seriously” I said yes. We kissed I whispered I love you and he said it back. I took his hand and held it before falling back to sleep I whispered “I want your d**k” sorry for the explicit word but true story. My last thought before passing back out was I want him to know I appreciate his sexual efforts so that’s what came out of my mouth. 😐😕 Now fast forward to 8 in the morning!
Everyone was awake at this point. My husband kicked all the kids out of our room and had them setup shop in their room with a cartoon going on TV. I was a little slow to what he was doing at first. I hear the noise and cheering at the cartoon outside our bedroom. We quickly slide under the covers and attempt to finish what he started at 4am. I decided to drown out background noise and give it all my focus. I let go! Just as I feel myself lose control and really start enjoying myself our door busted open and in a matter of three seconds I feel my face met with my one year old’s face. 😭😭😭 I was in such disbelief and confused and lost and trying to figure out one what just happen, two how did she get to be as fast as The Flash, and finally three is this really our life. My poor husband was frozen in position and in shock he couldn’t put his words together for a couple of minutes.
When he finally started to mollify he was able to say “are you serious? I can’t believe this! Kids man!” His dear in the headlight look escaped his face and he did a laugh that sounded like a cry. I think he was still going through the emotions. I said well that was definitely a mood killer. Last thing I want to feel against my cheek during sex is my daughter’s face. When he laid next to me we discovered we had a even bigger audience. My two sons standing there with a confused look on their face. He said “EVERYBODY OUT!” we shook our heads. A few minutes later my husband went out the room and I went to the bathroom. My five year old son came into my bathroom and I was thinking geez I can’t even pee in peace. He comes up grinning with a mischievous smile on his face and leans in and whispers hey mommy why were you and daddy naked? What were you doing? I said HEY GET OUTTA HERE! He took off running and laughing at the same time. The struggle is real!😢
Let me just help with the math add 27% plus 20% plus that BS 1% plus 10% from the other and 8% from the incompatibility and know that 64% is coming from lack of sex due to children 😂😂😂😂😂Thank you all for reading goodnight or morning!