Drastic Changes, Hardwork, Exhausted…

Good Evening Friends!!!

I may have already told you this but in 2013 I made a drastic change. I decided to quit my two jobs and have my husband quit his job in Arizona and relocate back to my home state (California), after only living there for two years. My husband thought I was nuts and I am quite sure my family (parents and siblings) did as well. I told my husband God showed me this move and our marriage was in danger and we probably would not make it without the move. Even with that being said I was still hesitant, because I like to feel like I have control over my life even if it is an illusion. The thought of losing my independence and having to be dependent on others shook me up. I knew we would need my parents help to do this move and I kept going back in forth in my head. It did not make full sense to us but dreams and warnings kept coming.

We finally did the leap of faith and quit everything and headed to California. My husband found work immediately and I decided to go to college full time. We stayed with my parents for a year and a half before moving out into our own place. My husband manage to be this outstanding provider and graduate with his MBA this current year. I have been able to be a full time student and most importantly a stay at home mom. My children really appreciate having me near and involved in their daily activities. They do not even like me going to school lol. I laugh because my mother kept telling me years ago how important it is to be involved with my only child at the time and I kept saying…I know I know but I have to work and provide for her. She said she cares more about you than the money but I could not hear her so I stayed working like a crazy person plenty of overtime to keep her spoiled materialistically. I suppose my brain was not mature enough at that present time.

Now I am at home daily and go to school late in the day and a couple of late evenings. I can honestly say that I feel like I am working harder than ever before. A stay at home mom puts a lot of work, energy, time, emotions, and everything you can possibly think of into her family and that is the same for a stay at home father. The workload of a stay at home parent is pretty intense! I look back when I could not see the big picture and I was hesitant to quit my jobs and see how I was just as blind than as I was when my mother tried to show me years ago. I am thankful to be able to assist my five year old son who is working through his learning disabilities and steadily improving thanks to the extra time put towards him. My eleven year old daughter is more open to me now than I probably want lol just kidding..kind of. My three year old is becoming more sociable and less isolated…his personality has taken a major change. My one year old is just as kooky as ever. They all seem so full of life and happy now. It is truly amazing what quality time between a child and parent can do.

The hard-work does not stop with the family though! I literally push myself to succeed in school and not go to just waste time. I started at a Junior College, Community College or two year college which ever makes sense to you. It made since financially and it was getting the job done. I put my applications in for the Universities last fall 2015, so I could transfer and start this fall 2016 at one of them. My goal was to get into a UC so I can try to get into a research program that fit my studies. So now after the results have came back I have been sitting on an egg, on what to do? Where to go? How far should I take this? Can I just go live on an island and take in nature? Minimalist living where are you? Is it too late to start backpacking? Can I be a backpacker with four kids and a husband? Lol, once again my husband thinks I am nuts and he may be right this time because these are no visions or dreams from God, this go round. These are my own personal desires…Well that is what my complex brain is looking like these days all over the place…FYI I am studying psychology with science to get through the medical doors. Do I really want to go to school that long? I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXHAUSTED!!!!!

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